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1st Joke : You are on the bus when you suddenly realize that you need to fart. The music is really loud, so you time your farts with the beat. After a couple of songs, you start to feel better as you approach your stop. As you are leaving the bus, people stared at you up and down and laughed gleefully within hestitation and that is when you realize that you have been listening to your ipod all along.
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2nd Joke : This 60 year old woman was walking along a deserted street when she heard a voice from above "You will live to be 100." She looked around and didn't see anyone. Again she heard "You will live to be 100." And she thought to herself, that it was the voice of God. I've got 40 more years to live! So off she went to the plastic surgeon. She got everything fixed from head to toe. When she left the plastic surgeon's office, she got hit by a bus, died, and went up to heaven. She said to God "You told me I would live to be 100. I was supposed to have had 40 more years. So how come you let the bus kill me?". God said: "I didn't recognize you".
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3rd Joke : A lady gets on a train with her baby. A guy sitting across from her looks at the baby and starts laughing hysterically. He says, "Lady, that's the ugliest toddler I've ever seen. It looks like a monkey. What an ugly toddler!" The lady freaks out, and sat on another seat sobbing uncontrollably. A tourist sees her and comes over to her to console her. He says, "Lady, relax... things are going to be all right... we'll get off at the next stop, get a cup of coffee... or maybe we'll even find a banana for your monkey."
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4th Joke : A little boy is standing at the side of a river, weeping. His tears are streaming down his cheeks. An elderly lady passes by and feels pity for him. "What is the matter, young boy? Why are you crying?" "It's mean!", the boy sniffed, "My daddy drowned all four little kittens we had yesterday!" "That's awful indeed !", the lady replied angrily, "Your father is a real bastard!' "Yes", said the little boy, "He had promised to me that I could do it."
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That's all the jokes I'd today!
More jokes posting soon . (:
"Laughing is definitely allowed."
Posted By : AJRINA {The girl whom is insane when hyper}
;D